August, 1989

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

Page 13

Personal Growth:

by Antone Feo, Ph.D.

Overcoming Your Fear of Intimacy

Intimacy takes many unique forms, but some common characteristics exist. Truth, respect, and trust are the basic building blocks. Intimacy also requires risk-taking, and allowing oneself to be vulnerable. People who are intimate with each other are open with their feelings, take responsibility for their actions and do not blame others for their own shortcomings.

Unlike their counterparts, those who fear intimacy can be irresponsible and untrustworthy, and can keep relationships on a shallow and superficial level. They keep others at an emotional distance, seldom form strong emotional LESBIAN GAY

Community Service Center

by Robert Laycock

OF GREATER CLEVELAND

It's A Stage. Now that you're in the spirit, the Center's show-tune sing-along, It's A Stage, continues Aug. 14 at 7:30 p.m. This month will feature the scores of My Fair Lady and A Chorus Line. Music and lyrics are provided, so all you need to bring is you!

Down Under. Renovations continue at the Center. This time it's down to the basement, where expansion will provide a new meeting room. Donations of drywall and paint are needed, as well as volunteers. Call the Center if you can help.

Continued from Page 8

welcome to join. For a free brochure and membership information, write to Demetrio Boniche, c/o WAY, Ved Ballahoj 4, 2700 Bronshoj, Copenhagen, Denmark.

South Africa's newest lesbian and gay organization, called GLOW, has been formed in the Soweto, Johannesburg area. The group, founded by blacks and whites, has a majority black membership. Prominent gay anti-apartheid activist, Simon Nkoli, who was recently acquitted of treason in the 3-year-long Vaal 22 trial, is one of the leaders of GLOW.

GLOW aims to fulfill both a political and a social function. The group is interested in getting in touch with international organizations to maintain a flow of information both ways. GLOW may be contacted c/o Glen Shelton, South African Institute of Race Relations, P.O. Box 31044, Braamfontein 2017, South Africa.

Burma-Reports indicate that the hard nosed military crackdown on the massive demonstrations for freedom and democracy have sent gays undercover once again.

During the anti-government demonstrations in Rangoon, the capital, with almost one million marchers, onlookers saved their loudest cheers for a

group of transvestites and gays parading behind a banner which proclaimed: "Beauticians for Democracy."

At one time, transvestite males were popular, just to entertain people. They still ply their trade. They dance and sell

1 and 2 bedroom renovated apartments Located in the historic Tremont District. For rental info.

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ties, and distrust most people they meet. In an attempt to deal with their frustration, they may abuse or be dependent on alcohol or drugs. They may talk about their unhappiness, but are unable or unwilling to make any substantial changes.

It is easy to identify those who fear intimacy. She is your friend who always falls in love with that unobtainable married woman. When that affair dissolves, she attempts a long-distance love relationship with that woman who lives in Key West. It could be the 50-year-old man who never has had a lover because he lives with mom. Every weekend, he goes to the bar and complains, "There never are any good-looking men here." Or, it is the young man who has a lover,

Dog Days. The Dog Days are here and a good-sized air conditioner and ceiling fans are needed for the Living Room. If you can help, call Paul Whitehurst at the Center, 522-1999.

The Living Room. A new group is starting for couples where one or both members have AIDS or are HIV-positive. The group meets every Wednesday at 8 p.m. at the Living Room. Just drop in.

The Living Room also is offering free massages by a masotherapist for people with AIDS. Call the Center for an appointment.

Meetings. Two new groups are meeting at the Center. Each Sunday night at 7:30 p.m., meetings are held to explore New Age Spirituality.

Co-Dependents Anonymous (CODA) hold their meetings on Thursdays at 8:30 p.m.

sweets and snacks. They entertain for their living. Some are not even gay. “Real gay males in Burma are the most frustrated people," reports one Burmese gay man. "Lesbian rights are far better than gay rights. At least they can live together. This is not so for males.

Japan-The International Friends visitors, and operates the Japan Gay group of Tokyo, Japan welcomes Help Line 03-453-1618, which functions in English and Japanese. International Friends is the new name for those people who once belonged to the Men's and Women's Support Group, the Alternate Lifestyle Support Group and the Tokyo Gay Support Group. The organization is now in its ninth year.

IF has made up a set of tourist maps of Tokyo and The Tourist's Handbook, plus their single sheet map of the Shinjuku gay area. If you would like a set, send 10 International Reply Coupons (obtainable at your post office) to I.F., C.P.O. Box 180, Tokyo 100-91, Japan.

Puerto Rico, USA-In February, the Colectivo de Concientizacion Gay (CCG), (Collective for Gay Awareness) held its Second National Congress entitled "Perspectives of Homosexuality and Lesbianism in Puerto Rico." CCG also held a workshop for women only on "Sexuality and the Lesbian Experience." CCG continues to be very active with the AIDS Foundation and still offers its attractive "Estamos En Todos Partes" CCG T-shirts. I've got one! Send $8.50, check or money order, to CCG, Apartado 1003, Estacion Viejo San Juan, San Juan, Puerto Rico 00902, USA. ▼

781-0148

but continues to engage in extramarital relationships.

Fear of intimacy can cause sexual difficulties. Some individuals do not allow themselves to become fully aroused. Others engage in compulsive sexual behavior with many faceless people. These individuals avoid intimacy by having a myriad of anonymous encounters at the adult book store, the bath house, public rest rooms or rest stops. Such individuals often have a series of one-night stands.

Resolving one's fear of intimacy takes time and energy, but it usually is worth the effort. The process begins by recognizing that a problem exists. The individual then needs to learn to reduce

Wedding Bells. The first wedding has been held at the Center. Geri and Linda were joined July 1 in a ceremony led by Pastor Kathy Jo Williams-Smith of Emmanuel MCC. We hope this will be the first of many, and our best wishes to the newlyweds!

Other events coming up at the Center include an Ice Cream Social Aug. 19 and special workshops on Aug. 7 and 28. Call for more information.

the level of fear and begin trusting his or her feelings. Trusting oneself precedes trusting others.

Intimacy issues may be heightened by expressing one's feelings directly and honestly. Take responsibility for your feeling by using "I" statements. Starting your sentences with "I feel..." also will help you become more open with others.

Dr. Feo is a clinical psychologist, working as a private practitioner, providing services to the gay and lesbian community.

Lesbian-Gay Hot Line. Don't forget the Lesbian-Gay Hot Line at 781-6736. If you have questions about meetings at the Center or about other organizations in town, if you need information about safe sex, if you have ideas and want to help, or if you simply need to talk about a problem, call the hot line. The hot line is open Monday through Friday, 7 to 11 p.m. and Saturdays and Sundays 3 to 11 p.m.

Correction. Please note that Art MacDonald's name was misspelled in this column last month.▼

Health Issues Taskforce

O F C L E V•E•L•A•N•D

AmFAR Award. The American Foundation for AIDS Research has awarded the Taskforce a one-year grant to study the effectiveness of safer-sex programs for gay and bisexual men in Cleveland. One of four grants awarded nationwide to evaluate AIDS educational programs, the award resulted from a joint proposal by the Taskforce and the Federation for Community Planning.

The study will attempt to determine who is and is not reached by safer-sex programs, and what impact such programs have on sexual behavior. Participants will be asked to complete a brief, anonymous survey. Watch for our volunteers at events throughout the year!

munity organizing skills a plus. Send letter and resume to: PersonnelGEC, HIT, 2250 Euclid Ave, Cleveland

OH, 44115. EOE.

Thank You. Many thanks to all the people and organizations who donated time, energy, supplies and gifts to Dancin' in the Streets '89. A full account of Dancin' will appear in the next Taskforce Newsletter.

Office Renovations. The Taskforce needs volunteers to help with renovations. We especially need assistance with electrical work, lighting, painting and some basic carpentry. If interested, please call the office at 621-0766.

Volunteer Needs. As demands for our Gay educator. The Taskforce seeks a full-time educator to plan and produce services and programs continue to ininnovative programs, materials, forums crease, the Taskforce depends upon and campaigns about HIV-risk reducyour help to meet these needs. We seek tion for gay and bisexual men. AIDS buddies, office help and educators. We knowledge, familiarity with gay and especially welcome people with exbisexual lifestyles, and a creative apperience in volunteer coordination. proach to sexuality and risk reduction Help us to keep helping. Call the office for a volunteer application.▼ required. Public speaking and com-

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